Its been a long while since I last posted anything here about how I am getting on, and there has been a few updates, I have complete the three weeks intensive therapy course at Addenbrookes Hospital for my back pain, this included lots of talking and chats with various people to do with the medication, moods, therapies, relaxation, hydrotherapy and Gym work.
I loved the relaxation therapy, we did this everyday for 30 minutes, although the pain eased, it never disappeared, the soft music and the talking about relaxation worked quite well, and I try and do this whenever i can, but it is not as easy to do it at home as it is in a hospital environment, but when i can manage it, i get a lot from it, the next thing is the Gym work.
When I finished the three week course I was determined to carry on with a number of the main teaching points, one was the Gym, and as there is a course organised by the NHS and the local authorities so we can carry on at a reduced rate, we all know how Gyms normally charge, I spent two weeks trying to get hold of someone who can give me more info.
I asked on line on their Facebook pages, emailed and left call messages, and NO ONE bothered to get back to me, I kept getting comments on the FB page that someone will definitely call me the next day, but those many days came and went, in the end i eventually got an email from the Gym companies regional manager apologising on behalf of the gym and assured me that someone would contact me the following day,
Four days later, I emailed the Regional woman back and said again i have no communication so she phoned them and they got back to me within the hour, and what did they say, nothing, bugger all, they just said that I was to contact the local authority to get the info and book it, (it never said that in the paperwork) so I did, I spoke to a nice young lady there who had no idea what I was on about, after a bit of faffing about, she got something up on her computer and started to read out what was on there.
Needless to say and what a totally surprise (input sarcastic voice here) she said that I need to contact the Gym to get further info, so back I went again, and was told that I needed to book an assessment session, this I did, why they did not just say that in the first place I will never know, so, a date was set and it is just waiting, then last Saturday morning I got a call from the Gym cancelling my assessment, and pushing it back to September, I was really hacked off by now, and I think she knew this when i was a but sharp with her.
I was then telling my family it had been cancelled and when the new date was, that she called back to say that she can fit me in a week sooner, mmmmmmm, so, now a date is set, I just hope that this one wont be cancelled, but I will be making a point of saying how rubbish the system is at my one month check up at the Hospital.
The 2nd of three things I took from the course was the Hydrotherapy, I knew it would be a hot swimming pool, but had no idea how good it actually is, well chuffed, and I found that there is a hydro pool just two miles from my house, and i have been going there and doing my exercises and it helps for about an hour or so after I have been in before the aches and creaking come back, I will carry on doing my hydro for the foreseeable future.
the third thing is the exercises we would do a number of times during the day at the course, I have taken to them and do them at home at least once a day, and keep a track of when I do them and when I go to the Hydro pool, so when I go for my check ups they can see what and when i have been doing things.
So, how has my moods been during all this, well the first two weeks of the course were great and I was on a real high, I had not felt this happy for such a long time, everyone noticed it, it was great, then, on the Monday of the last week, we had to see the consultant, tosser, sorry but he is, and the first thing he said to me was that he wanted me off ALL my medication within the next few weeks.
This alone took me from my major high back down to feeling so rubbish and useless, that my negative thoughts came back with a bang, and I did wonder why I bothered with things, and finish it, this idiot had not ever read my notes, he had no idea that i was suffering from Depression and Anxiety until he asked about why I was on a particular medication, he had no idea that i have arthritis in both shoulders, hips and jaw, and I need my anti inflammatory to keep the swelling down, he knew nothing.
In fact the other three people on my course all complained about him and his attitude, again the drastic change in my moods was noticed again by everyone and i was asked about it at the hospital and i told them why, and they tried to fob it off and make out it was me just taking it the wrong way, so that helped, thank you very much, its a case of "how to make you feel worse without really trying", and these moods and anxiety as continued till today, and that's about a month now, and I still feel rubbish, low and insignificant.
I cant see anyway out of it at the moment, no matter what I try, we, my partner and I, do things at the weekends to try to take my mind of these thoughts and anxieties, it works for a very short while, but then I am home and it hits me again, I have the ATOS company going through my application for disability, and for those who don't know, they are an awful French company that has taken control of the benefits claimants in the UK.
They are passing teh decisions back to teh Government stating that people can work that are clearly not capable of working, it has hit the national press and there has been talks about them at the highest places in government to try and sort the problem, but that does not help me, I worry, and I always have, but that with the depression and anxiety really kick me hard, and the waiting, I can stand it, I want to know one way or the other, and to get it out the way, so i can concentrate on getting better.
Anyway, I have written enough now to bore everyone stupid, thanks for reading, this does help me a great deal to put things down on paper, so to speak, and unburden myself, i just hope I have not made you as depressed as me after reading this.
