It has been some while since I posted about health, wealth and happiness, the wealth bit is easy and I can close that bit by saying I ain't wealthy, I have not been working for two years now so funds are low, happiness, this is a difficult one, I want to be happy I truly do, however becoming happy and staying there are two differing things.
With the continued pain and therefore lack of movement, I am becoming less mobile, I try to as much as I can and with the weather on the change it is easier to get out and about, not that out and about is far, I have been told I am an ideal candidate for a three week course at Addenbrooks Hospital, this covers exercise, talk, physio etc, and runs for three weeks, four days a week and six hours a day, this is in July, so something to look forward too.
Our recent holiday in Egypt was a success, until we got to the airport on our way home, I got violently ill on the plane, due to food we ate at the airport, this lasted a good week after we got back, but whilst there the heat was great for me and by the end of the week I was walking better and having less pain, within Twelve hours of coming back to cold Britain I was back to normal, at least I had a few days of feeling normal.
I am visiting my "mental nurse" frequently, not that she is mental, but she is trying to sort out my head, this will be a hard job to do, with the long lived pain, and boredom I have every day it sends me a bit low and depressed, sometimes, very, and it is more often than not, I feel she does not do anything for me, as I feel worse after each session than I did before I went in, however last week she did listen to my rants.
On our return from our holiday I had been informed of three deaths, so there was three funerals in eight days, two were ok, the third and last was my grandmother, my real dads mum, I did not really have much if anything to do with that side of the family, as they never wanted to know either me or my brother when my parents split when I was very young, when I was introduced to my father for the first time at the funeral, he just said "hello" and shifted away very quickly.
At the bun fight afterwards, I noticed that my dad was talking to my brother for some while but never not once did he mention me or even took the time to come across to talk to me, I am not too bothered by this but it has played on my mind a bit each day since, but as I never knew him anyway I have not really lost anything, but it would have been nice for him to make the effort, after all I did drive all that way and at great discomfort for me, but hey, if that's how it is, then that's fine.
As for my aches and pains, yes I know your all wondering about it they are still there, my back is just the same, however my legs and arms are getting weaker and I find standing still difficult and will wobble and stumble frequently, with the lack of exercise comes an increase in weight, which will not go away, even though I am eating far far less than I ever used too, the thyroid is still to have its first check, so once a blood test for that is taken, and a decision on whether to increase the dosage of medication I am on or not, I just have to carry on as is.
My moods around the house are getting more frequent, I try my hardest to not be grumpy as I know it is no ones fault, but it is hard, and I am finding it harder to keep cheerful, I try to keep busy and the odd day out with the mother in law helps a great deal, lack of interest from other people supposedly close to me does not help, and I get angry at some of the texts I get from them, so much so at times I just want to scream and swear, and if I am alone I do, loudly.
So there you have it, I know it has been a while but you have it all up to date and in all its glory, with a few days off next week we are going to have a couple of days away to keep my mind active and off of the usual throughs and the course at Addenbrooks in July it should be a positive few months ahead, and hopefully I may ask my dr if I can go back to work a few hours each week, fingers crossed.
